I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize