Betty ford says i'm here all night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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