By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize