Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
