This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
