I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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