the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
