Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
