you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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