You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
