you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
