summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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