if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize