I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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