jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
