my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
