The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
