hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize