I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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