she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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