i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
