At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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