I love black thongs
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize