omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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