i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
