i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
