I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok