This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.