there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The Olympian is in my bed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
