apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
