and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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