went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
