her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
