Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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