Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
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Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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