lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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