Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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