It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize