Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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