found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
