Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
