i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Congratulations! We have a period
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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