What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
