I wish I could teleport
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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