if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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