do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize