No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
