we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
