as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
