There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
