my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
