Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
