I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
