Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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