I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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