if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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