found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
