Whod you bang
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
