i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
